Rick Majerus: Expert On The “Average White D*ck”

LARRY BROWN SPORTS has a priceless excerpt from a recent SPORTS ILLUSTRATED piece on Rick Majerus that sadly, is apparently (and understandably) unavailable online:

Rick Majerus Ball Sack

Another player remembers Majerus calling him up to his hotel room on various occasions, and he’d answer the door in his towel and I’d come in and the towel would fall off and it was like nothing had happened. He’d just be standing there buck naked. One year he had this lower-back injury, and he would have the trainer massage it with the ultrasound.

But instead of just lowering his pants a little bit, Majerus would pull his pants down to his ankles and sit in a chair and coach us. Sometimes he’d be like, ‘Guys, bring it in, take a knee.’ We’d come in, and we’re just like, No way this is happening.

Majerus kept telling [former Utah player Michael] Doleac that he needed to keep six inches between himself and his opponent in the post. When Doleac was caught shortly after leaning on his man, the coach erupted. ‘Jesus ****in Christ, Doleac! When a guy catches the ball in the post, you gap him six inches!’ Doleac recalls Majerus yelling. ‘Then he turns to the guys sitting on the baseline and says, ‘Six f***** inches,’ and he says, ‘the size of the average white d***’ and pulls it out.

The point of the piece was apparently (we haven’t read the print version of SI in years - and we hear the top of bowling alley cigarette machines are the main distribution point now) that Majerus mirrored Bob Knight’s unorthodox approach to player relations - and that he’s quite the exhibitionist (remember that creepy guy in the steam room on the cruise ship when you were a kid?).

For the record, Majerus is 59 years old and single. And never been married. Not that we’re implying anything by that.