Pissing On The Mets’ Grave For Fun And Profit

Shea Stadium toilets will still be flushing, just not in Flushing.

Flushing Meadows

Demolition of Shea Stadium begins tomorrow, but not before the most precious artifacts are spirited away for safekeeping. The New York City Parks Department has begun removing toilets, urinals, sinks, and anything else of value before the scrapyards in Willets Point get their hands on the junk.

The Parks Department owns Shea Stadium, so they legally have the rights to everything. But somehow the city let the Mets talk them into splitting the proceeds on the valuable stuff like seats, signs and the team’s two championship banners (which you would’ve thought they might have wanted to bring to the new stadium, but whatever).

So the city is left with hardy urinals that have handled thousands of gallons of $8 Budweisers, and they’ll be on their way to a filthy public restroom soon. Officials say reusing the fixtures will save $2.5 million, which is a drop in the, um, bucket, compared to the $2.5 billion it cost to build the city’s two new stadiums.

Some fun facts about Shea Stadium’s restrooms:

-There were 310 urinals in the ballpark. There should have been 311 judging from all the times I’ve seen fans peeing in the sink.

-The restroom mirrors will not be reused, and have been sent to Darryl Strawberry’s house by special request.

-The Mets have not actually used the restrooms in the past two years. If you’ll recall, the 2007 and 2008 teams crapped the bed instead.

Mr. Met

(Mr. Met once made a dookie thiiiiis big)