Phelps Dumped Girlfriend, Huge Breasts Aren’t His

So I watched Regis & Kelly for a split-second (honest) this morning in my Chicago hotel room and I saw an unkempt Michael Phelps on the show. (Enough already of the deviated septum as Abercrombie look.)

Michael Phelps Asian Huge-Boobed Woman

So Kelly Ripa asked Phelps about being trailed by paparazzi and recently spotted with his girlfriend at the airport.

Caz Pal vs. Huge Boobed Asian Chick At Airport Stalking Michael Phelps

(Caz Pal (l) was mistaken for Asian woman near Phelps at airport)

Phelps bristled when he heard Ripa’s comment, and went onto to claim that the Asian woman in question seen in paparazzi photos with Phelps this week was not his girlfriend, Caz Pal: “The photographers post this girl up next to me as I get out of the car and she follows me in. … I’ve never seen her before in my life.”

Phelps also confirmed to Ripa that he was no longer seeing Pal: “I’m not seeing anyone now.

Like all of us viewing the photos yesterday, Ripa thought that the monster-boobed woman (photos) was the female recently linked to Phelps - Vegas-based nudie (implied!) model and waitress Caroline Pal.

So who the hell was that woman?

No one knows, but swinging a dead rodent of your choice at the LAX Spearmint Rhino at about 3am this morning might be a good way to find out.

Phelps’ accusation does seem a little far-fetched, but from looking at the photos, it certainly seems possible. The woman has no luggage, no purse, and thankfully, no bra.

Caroline Caz Pal

(What, this doesn’t go with Mike’s million-dollar corporate image?)

Meanwhile, we’re all saddened to now know that Phelps has apparently broke it off with Pal. I was truly hoping that Phelps would actually become more than a life-size corporate cardboard cutout, but I guess I gave him too much credit.

And to think he seemed like such a well-grounded, likable fellow once we got to know him!