Penthouse Magazine Super Bowl Party Patrolled By Sheriff Shaquille ONeal

SHERIFF SHAQ TO PATROL PORN PARTY? The Miami Police Department is on high alert this week as the city hosts the Super Bowl and accompanying festivities. Some events probably will get more attention from peace officers than others, like the Penthouse Magazine “Super Party”.

The porn-based bustup will feature dozens of Penthouse’s pay-for-play *models* and varying levels of aged, unattractive, pit-stained-impaired male celebrities (think Jon Lovitz, Bill Maher, Pauly Shore-types).

The evening’s entertainment will be the headlined by a convicted felon named Calvin Broadus.

Super Bowl Penthouse Party

With putrid partygoers like that, some nearby South Florida folks might be a little worried about their safety.

But never fear law-abiding citizens of Miami-Dade County, your comfort and security is assured, thanks to local reserve police officer Shaquille O’Neal, who no doubt will be on call, night stick in tow, in case the (very) long arm of the law is needed (for strip and full body cavity searches).