Sports superstitions are strange things. Wade Boggs needed his chicken before every game. Pedro Cerrano only learned in the end he didn’t need Jobu’s help. The Eagles’ playoff beards make them all look like they’re homeless and/or registered sex offenders. My New York Rangers Stanley Cup hat has spooky powers. But these are all fairly unobtrusive methods.
One Charlotte-area woman has the least practical ritual since Raymond Babbitt had to watch “The People’s Court”: in order for the Panthers to win, she needs to watch the game bottomless. I know where I’ll be Saturday night, because somewhere in this grand country of ours, someone will be watching football without their pants, and it’s not a fat hairy dude in his boxers.
Says Julie Maloney in the CHARLOTTE OBSERVER:
You can ask just about anyone. If I lack pants, they win. If we have guests watching the game or we can’t get the children a sitter, I wear a skirt. Those games are iffy. We’ll probably nab a win but it won’t be by much, and my head really has to be in the game.
If we have the day to ourselves and the pants come off me, we win. Without fail. If I’m pants-less and my husband is shirtless, watch out. The day before I left for a trip to Upstate NY, I was sick in bed and missed the game. I slept through it in my birthday suit and we had a shut out against Kansas City.
The following week while in Syracuse, we played Tampa Bay. Not knowing my brother had the Sunday ticket just next door to where I was staying at my mothers, I headed to the local bar to watch the game alone. It was cold and in my poor planning, all I brought was jeans. Tampa delivered a crushing loss of 3-27.
At one point during the game the bar manager offered me a blanket, joking that I could take my pants off and hopefully turn the game around. I know he was kidding but the way that game was going, I seriously considered his offer.
My girlfriend will be joining me for the Giants game Sunday, as payment for building her some crappy desk from Target. She knows that I’m in a much less physically-abusive mood when my team wins, so she’ll want to do everything she can to make sure the Giants win. I’m going to forward her this article.