Olympic Village Helps Ugly People Have Sex, Too

When it comes to virile, 20-somethings inhabiting perfectly sculpted bodies, you really can’t have enough condoms. Half a million might sounds like a lot of latex, but in truth, an Olympic village full of sexy athletes can make quick work of a seemingly endless supply of prophylactics. Bow-chicka-wow-wow, indeed.

Matthew Syed

But this isn’t something new; according to former British Olympian Matthew Syed (handsomely pictured above), it’s a time-honored tradition as old as the Games.

As Matthew writes for the LONDON TIMES:

I am often asked if the Olympic village - the vast restaurant and housing conglomeration that hosts the world’s top athletes for the duration of the Games - is the sex-fest it is cracked up to be. My answer is always the same: too right it is. I played my first Games in Barcelona in 1992 and got laid more often in those two and a half weeks than in the rest of my life up to that point. That is to say twice, which may not sound a lot, but for a 21-year-old undergraduate with crooked teeth, it was a minor miracle.

And horny, fluoride-deprived, young Brits everywhere rededicate themselves to some sport — any sport — in the hopes that they might have an opportunity to make it to the Olympics and spend two weeks in the Village. Oh, and also have a chance to represent their country, win a medal, blah blah blah.

As Spencer Hall points out at THE SPORTING BLOG, Sexpot Syed is more Austin Powers than David Beckham in the bootyliciousness department, but having sex twice in two weeks for a table tennis player is like a normal person getting laid every day for two straight months. Hats off to you, sir.