B-Baller Pees in Bushes, Outrages Public Decency

The last time I was accused of doing something that “outraged the public decency”, it involved a kiddie pool full of chocolate pudding, four or five dancers from Cheetah’s and a lot of duct tape. Let’s just say I’m not allowed within 100 feet of any city park ever again. But apparently what counts as “outrageous” in Los Angeles is a little different in Norman, Oklahoma.

Blake Griffin

At least that’s what I took from the AOL FANHOUSE story on Oklahoma basketball star (and likely 2009 NBA Draft lottery pick) Blake Griffin after he was cited for “Outraging the Public Decency“after being spotted urinating in some bushes at a parking lot near campus early Thursday morning.

Sooners head coach Jeff Capel told the TULSA WORLD that they would handle the matter internally - which somehow sounds like what Griffin should have done in the first place. (How much discipline does this need, really? Coach: “Blake, don’t pee in the bushes again.” Player: “OK, coach.”)

Griffin was ticketed in a parking lot outside of a frat. He told police that he was waiting for a friend and couldn’t leave the area when he felt the need to relieve himself. If only there was some sort of technology that people could use to “call” each other and let them know where they are. I know it sounds futuristic now (like something out of “The Jetsons“), but maybe by 2038 we’ll have that kind of “cellular” technology.

If urinating in the bushes counts as “Outraging the Public Decency” in Norman, I shudder to think what they would have charged Najeh Davenport with? Engaging in Acts of Moral Turpitude? Consorting with the Devil to Perform Acts of Low Standing? Defecating on the Public Consciousness with Villainous Intent? Only the dandy from 1889 who wrote the Norman city laws knows for sure.