Michael Vick Blames Others For That Thing He Did

Even though he spent 18 months in federal prison and two seasons out of the NFL, Michael Vick still has a chance to once again become an actual, legitimate NFL football player. It’s a lot more than most convicted felons can say about their pre-crime careers, but the NFL is truly a meritocracy; if Vick can perform, someone will be willing to pay him handsomely to do so.

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell could have banned Vick for life and the majority of NFL fans might’ve have been fine with that. Instead, he granted Vick a second chance; all he has to do is stay out of trouble for the first half-ish of the season, “show genuine remorse,” accept responsibility for his actions, and he could be back on the field, in the money. And yet, that appears to be too much for Vick to handle. How stupid is this guy?

As part of his carefully orchestrated PR goodwill tour, Vick spoke yesterday to a group of basketball campers at Hampton University in Virginia. According to THE SPORTING NEWS:

The free agent NFL quarterback, who last month finished a 23-month federal prison sentence for dogfighting, told a crowd of about 250 to “use me as an example for your dreams.” Vick also told them that after accomplishing his goals he “allowed someone who didn’t have my best interests at heart to take all that away from me,” according to a release from the school.

Jeez, this guy is possibly the worst motivational speaker in history. As a devoted carnivore, I hope he takes PETA up on their offer to represent them. Why on Earth should anyone use Michael Vick as an example for…anything, except as one of the most colossal screwups in sports history? Oddly enough, however, that’s not even the biggest problem here. Let’s take a look at that last part again:

Vick also told them that after accomplishing his goals he “allowed someone who didn’t have my best interests at heart to take all that away from me,” according to a release from the school.

Remember what I said before about Goodell’s requirements for reinstatement? All Vick has to do during his phony-baloney speaking tour is fess up to being a bad man, shed some crocodile tears, and tell kids not to operate dogfighting rings. But no - HE BLAMED SOMEONE ELSE FOR IT. Ironic considering some people think he’s being led astray NOW by people who don’t have his best interests at heart. Either he’s lying, or he’s the dumbest damn MFer to ever to walk the Earth. If that’s the case, he doesn’t belong on an NFL roster, he belongs in a group home.