Martellus Bennett Invents Black Olympics — Yikes

I’m generally against censorship, but someone needs to take away Martellus Bennett’s access to YouTube, and it must be done today. As our friends at YOU BEEN BLINDED pointed out, the concept of a Black Olympics — eating chicken and watermelon and drinking Kool-Aid as timed events — might have been a funny concept if Dave Chappelle had done it. But in the hands of the Cowboys’ tight end, it’s … well, not good. Not good at all.

Martellus Bennett

If you’re a fan of Bennett’s YouTube rap career, please seek help immediately. You are not well. Not only did he commit the ultimate sin — rhyming “Romo” with “homo” (a stunning lack of imagination there) — he also sang about women farting. Just how does this help move society forward again? And now this dubious idea, in which he enlists the help of his brother, Seahawks’ DE Michael Bennett. (Video below).

It’s time for another installment of Bad Idea Jeans.

You may not be surprised to know that this is not Bennett’s first attempt to tackle the black-people-enjoy-chicken concept. He wrote about it extensively earlier this year in his blog for the DALLAS MORNING NEWS. Excerpt:

here are some of the answers to my survey! I asked numerous people.

2) because it’s greasey and black people use grease (LOL)

4) I don’t know fool. Haha.

5) because it’s in our DNA (really)

6) because it’s let’s fattening then red meat

11) my answer: everybody loves chicken despite race sex gender chicken is scrumptious and everyone enjoys it. If you haven’t had chicken go get some.

Never stop chasing your dreams.

Those last two sentences may be the most poignant, lyrical words ever written in the English language. Except for that one Shakespeare play about potato salad.

Tip of the Tom Landry hat to YOU BEEN BLINDED.