I’m the first to admit that I’ve used SbB as a vehicle over the years to meet hot girls. Overused is more like it. But I’m put to shame by a guy named Mitch Mortaza.
(Before They Were Famous: Geico caveman on Blind Date!)
Mortaza, who claims to run a full-fledged Hollywood talent agency that looks more like an empty storefront, is the man who created lingerie football. The initial game, in 2004, was sold as pay-per-view event opposite Super Bowl halftime, and thanks to an insane amount of media coverage, you probably remember it. (But if you actually paid to see the *game*, you’d most like to forget it.)
In the run up to that first event, provocative ads fished for PPV buys by depicting the girls in outfits right off the Spearmint Rhino rack. But the actual production turned out to be women flailing around a football field wearing undergarments that looked more Lane Bryant than lustful football fairy. (We’ll have to settle for Jeff Reed instead.)
(Kickoff promo: Fans get free postgame one-way mirror tokens?)
More recently, Mortaza has made subsequent, unsuccessful attempts to stage more *games* and even gone so far as to propose a lingerie football league. If you read this site, you’ve probably seen all the gratuitous local news footage of tryouts for the league around the country. (Like I’m complaining.)
I have though done my best to ignore the whole thing, as Mortaza appeared to me as just another shameless publicity hound hawking a fake product. That is, until I saw him on CNBC this week selling his concept as a legitimate business and claiming that NFL owners wanted to buy into his *league*. (OK, maybe Jer is interested.)
That had me wondering why Mortaza continues to push his failed venture year after year. What could possibly be driving him in his ultimately futile quest? Doesn’t Mortaza have any respect for himself?
Actually, no. Just google him.
Mortaza appeared on Blind Date years ago, and by sheer coincidence, his scene was recently uploaded onto Youtube (and will no doubt be pulled shortly - so record away!). I think it’s safe to say Blind Date is probably the most popular TV dating show of all time - because of guys like Mortaza.
“Razor” Mortaza, who apparently has a toe ring fetish, is paired up with a 6-foot platinum blonde. Astonishingly, he has the woman eating out of his hand from the very beginning of the date, resoundingly closing the deal at show’s end.
OK, not really.
After watching the episode, and drying my eyes, I think it’s kinda clear what’s going on here. Mortaza, in my opinion, won’t let lingerie football die because it’s a great way for him to meet hot woman. And I’m totally with guys figuring out ways, no matter how unorthodox, to meet lovely ladies. But this whole thing does seem like alotta effort just for Mortaza to get to hang with hotties.
Then again, if the Blind Date footage is any indication, dude needs at-bats.
So which will come first: Mortaza stops playing games, or the lingerie football league starts playing games?
How ’bout neither?