Lasorda Can’t Fathom That Piazza Took Steroids

When it comes to anything Dodgers related, everyone should know to take anything Tommy Lasorda says with a grain of salt - in his mind, the team has never done anything wrong, ever. And when you’re talking about Mike Piazza, we’re talking about massive quantities of salt. Enough to make the Great Salt Lake look like a small pond. So I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that, as the LOS ANGELES DAILY NEWS reports, Lasorda is incredulous about accusations in a new book that Piazza took steroids.

Tommy Lasorda and Mike Piazza

SI writer Jeff Pearlman’s new book “The Rocket That Fell To Earth” is primarily about Roger Clemens, but it also touches on several other stars and steroid use, including Piazza. Along with anonymous sources, former major leaguer Reggie Jefferson goes on record in the book claiming that Piazza’s steroid use was hardly a secret:

In the book, Jefferson says, “He’s a guy who did it, and everybody knows it. It’s amazing how all these names, like Roger Clemens, are brought up, yet Mike Piazza goes untouched.”

Another anonymous player is quoted as saying, “There was nothing more obvious than Mike on steroids. Everyone talked about it, everyone knew it.” 

However, Lasorda just can ‘t believe that Piazza could have ever done drugs. After all, he “worked too hard“:

“I don’t believe that at all,” said Lasorda, the longtime Dodgers manager. “He worked so hard. I saw him in the weight room working out all the time. Whatever (is in the book) is hearsay. I just don’t believe it. He comes from a family that’s full of good people. 

Right, because when you start doing steroids, you just naturally add 40 pounds of steroids without having to lift one weight. Either Lasorda is pathetically clueless about steroids - especially for someone who managed in the 1980s and 1990s - or he’s stretching the limits of believability further than the elastic in his waistband after “All You Can Eat” night at Buca di Beppo.

In about that “family of good people” - I’m sure that Lasorda feels that way, since he and Piazza’s dad Vince are very close friends. And who are we to question the moral character of a family whose patriarch is involved in such high-class establishments as the Crazy Horse Too Cabaret in Philadelphia. Of course, based on the allegations of a Hollywood madam, strip club owners would appear to be Lasorda’s type of people.

So sure, Tommy, if you say that Mike Piazza didn’t take steroids, we’ll believe you. And that acne on his back that looked like a star map? I’m sure it was just a by-product of eating too much pizza and spaghetti like a god Italian should, right? Fugeddaboutit!