Keyshawn Wants You To Take Him Less Seriously

When a PR company puts out a release on election day, especially on one of the most historic election days even, it means one of two things: an incompetent flak, or they’re trying to slip in under the radar because they’re embarrassed by the product. But what could possibly be so embarrassing? How does Keyshawn Johnson, Interior Designer sound?

Keyshawn Johnson

Set your DVRs now for Keyshawn Johnson: Tackling Design, to premier on the A&E Network next year. The premise is about as spectacular as they come: follow everyone’s favorite overrated receiver and loudmouthed analyst as he tries to make a name for himself in the cutthroat world of making sure the carpet matches the drapes. (Keyshawn drops his manhood like he dropped passes, after the jump.)

“Sports fans are aware of Keyshawn’s formidable skills on the field,” says an A&E exec, proving he’s never met anyone who’s met anyone that likes sports, “but will be completely surprised by his talent as a designer.”

Furniture, fabric and finishings used to be just a hobby, but with his football days behind him, Johnson’s wide-receiving now has more to do with fitting furniture through the front door of a house. Will clients take this former pro athlete seriously as an interior designer?

You know it’s a press release when it’s filled with crappy wordplay and unnecessary alliteration. And you know Keyshawn Johnson’s getting really desperate for money attention when he’s willing to slot his show in a lineup with Sell This House, Flip This House, some other shows probably about houses, and The Two Coreys.

If you’re comfortable with having Keyshawn in your home, here’s how to make it happen.