Joakim Noah Family Tree Leaves Clues To Florida Gators Bizarro Behavior

NOAH FAMILY TREE LEAVES CLUES TO BIZARRO BEHAVIOR: As we all try to unravel that repellent riddle wrapped inside an exasperating enigma, Joakim Noah, the one thing we do know is the only person with worse teeth than Joakim and dad Yannick is the lead singer for the Georgia Satellites.

Joakim Noah

But most don’t know the finer details of Joakim’s upbringing (his parents were divorced when he was very young and Dad Yannick rarely visited before son hit it big).And unless you live within France’s borders *shudder*, you probably are unaware that the elder Noah is currently a huge hit with the French - not because of his legendary tennis career, but because of his singing.

Yannick Noah Music

From the land that still reveres Jerry Lewis as a contemporary comic genius and can’t get enough of Tony Parker’s rapping, Noah’s songs can be seen and heard all over French radio and TV.

Yannick Noah Video

As you might expect, you’ll have to break out the electron microscope to detect the entertainment value in the music. I’m guessing the French appreciate his lyrics (one of his recent hits translates to “no more fighting”) more than his musicianship.

Cecilia Rohde Joakim Noah's Mother Miss Sweden

But the mastery of the arts doesn’t stop with Yannick, it also extends to Joakim’s mother, Cecilia. The former Miss Sweden in 1978, is, apparently, a sculptor.Her bio notes her career highlights as having her work displayed at the United Stations, and a commission that she received for “a massive bronze on permanent display in Atlantic City, New Jersey” (which is no doubt the dream of every world-class sculptor).

Yelena Noah

Finally, Joakim’s sister Yelena is often mentioned as a “model”. Taking her cue from Mom and Dad, it’s at best debatable if she’s qualified for that occupation.

Joakim Noah's Bizarro Family

So following this quick sketch of Joakim’s semi-fraudulent and rather dysfunctional family, I think we can all be a little more sympathetic when he breaks out his bizarro behavior.

Joakim Noah Mouth Full Of Food

OK, maybe not.