Jeff Reed Arrested For Towel Dispenser Attack

Steelers kicker Jeff Reed is known for being eccentric and slightly over the top when it comes to crime and or debauchery. If you need convincing, just look at his hair at any time. For Reed, his ‘do is always an apt metaphor for his personality; whether it’s bleached blond or just completely unruly, it always seems to show as little control as he does.

Jeff Reed drunk

That’s precisely why, despite it’s bizarre nature, his latest crime isn’t all that surprising. According to the PITTSBURGH TRIBUNE-REVIEW, Reed was frustrated that a paper towel dispenser in the bathroom of a Sheetz (basically, the unnatural love child of a Subway and a 7-Eleven) was empty, and decided to take out said frustration on the machine itself. He then hurled as many obscenities as possible in the general direction of the store’s cashiers and onlookers outside.

The result of the tirade was a charge of criminal mischief, which is just about as light a sentence as destroying a piece of equipment at a roadstop can warrant. Something tells us that if the Steelers had lost the Super Bowl by three points, he would have been charged with a misdemeanor at least.

Of course, this is just the latest episode of the Jeff Reed Experience. And yes, ESPN, we’re willing to work freelance to produce that reality show. You may also remember these shots from Las Vegas and this appearance at a Pittsburgh bar, not to mention this advertised public appearance at a Pittsburgh bar called Wolfie’s.

Clearly, the guy produces more than enough disreputably material to warrant a television show. For a camera crew and a small staff it’d be cheap at the price. Now, if we can just keep him out of jail long enough to get the first few episodes in the can …