Sure, the Gene Chizik hiring is probably the most baffling story of the year, and why not? The guy missed the three toughest teams in the Big XII this season and still went 0-8 in conference play, and all of a sudden he’s Auburn’s perfect candidate to take on Nick Saban in the Iron Bowl. No sensey makey. But nothing truly outlandish, aside from the hire itself, has gone down since then.
Enter Iowa State WR Darius Darks. Darks, pictured above in a facebook profile photo dated in June 2008, compiled 49 catches for 477 yards as a true freshman this season, and he was expected to be one of ISU’s stars on offense in 2009. But the head coach takes a new job and sh*t goes crazy. Darks reacted to Chizik’s departure by posting two wildly inflammatory videos on his facebook page, which is visible to anybody in the Iowa State or Des Moines network. In the videos (since removed), Darks and teammate Jeremiah Schwartz express vivid personal offense to Chizik’s “lying,” and in a way that all people their age understand and appreciate–wild and random swearing:
“A lot of people asking me what I’m going to do with coach Chizik leaving. I understand business is business, but this man lied,” Darks said in the video. “At a team meeting he was sitting there saying ‘I told your mother, Jerrod Black, and I sat on your auntie’s couch, Darius Dark, and I told her I would take care of you while you was up here at Iowa State.’ Where’s that n—- at now? Auburn University.”
Does it get worse? Of course it does.
“Let me explain something really quick,” Schwartz said in the video. “Rule one: Don’t f— with a Florida n—-. Rule two: Don’t lie to your team. Rule three: Respect rule two.”
Facebook: Your one-stop destination for all your “statements that would give an athletic director a superaneurysm” needs.
The videos didn’t last long, of course; they went up on Saturday, and by 10 p.m. last night, they had been replaced with a video where Darks apologizes to just about everybody not named “Gene Chizik.” He also recants this statement:
“All you Cyclone fanatics that are going to be watching this, and everybody else that is going to be cracking up on this, the answer to what I’m doing…” (Darks puts on a Michigan State jersey) “…Michigan State.”
First of all, where did he even get a Michigan State jersey in the middle of Iowa? Second, if only we could hear the phone conversation between Darks and MSU head coach Mark Dantonio.
Darks: “Hey, this is Darius. Do you still have room at WR?”
Dantonio: “Not really, no. Where did you get one of our jerseys?”
Darks: “Son of a bitch.”