Introducing One Of The Worst People On Earth

You know, there have been a lot of stories in the news over the last few years about female high school teachers and coaches having sexual relationships with their male students, and as men, we kind of approve of the whole thing. As beings who are wired to do nothing with their lives but have sex — women, not nature, make us do everything else — we feel a sense of pride in the kid for bedding his teacher. Even if she’s ugly.

Howard Avery

We forget, however, what the teachers really are taking of these students. It’s a double standard and one we should really think about reassessing. Unless your Howard Avery.  If you’re Howard Avery you think the double standard should be eliminated so that men could do the same thing to young girls. Thankfully, it isn’t.


Local basketball coach and resident creep Howard Avery is in a Clackamas County jail cell charged with sex crimes involving an underaged teenaged girl.

The latest charges include unlawful sexual penetration, sex abuse and sodomy. And investigators are seeking the public’s help in finding out whether there might be other victims out there.

Now, you see, the reason John Canzano called them the latest charges is because I skipped over a little bit of his column right there, yet I bet you still think this Avery character is quite the scumbag. Yeah? Okay, now read this.

I met with Avery, now 51, a couple of years ago at a local coffee shop. He told me he was a good guy. And that he was human. With the statute of limitations safely expired, he said, “I had sex with an underaged girl.” He’d insisted he was first flawed, and then healed, and he promised he would do better in the future.

I told him I thought he was a dirt bag.

Remember, this was an adult who was once paid $80,000 a year by your local sneaker companies to steer young basketball players. Also, he was paid privately by woefully ignorant parents. In his past, he’s admitted that he initiated sex with a 15-year-old, got her pregnant at 16. Soon after, he dumped the teen in front of an abortion clinic.

There were others, too. But Avery skated, and asked for forgiveness.

And I didn’t even blockquote the stuff about his family!

Anyway, not only did the guy commit statutory rape with different girls, but then he went around telling people about it just because he knew they couldn’t do anything to him. And parents still sent their kids to be coached by him.

It’s hard to blame them because when schools keep hiring the guy to work for them, after all, he can’t be listed on the sex offender registry since he can’t be charged, it’s kind of easy to assume that your kids are safe. I mean, you don’t send your kid to school and expect that his chemistry teacher spent time at Guantanamo for building a couple of pipe bombs, do you?

All I know is it’s making me think twice about sending my kids to public school one day. Maybe I’ll just teach them how to charm cobras at home. Seems safer.

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