Financial Superguru Dykstra Files For Bankruptcy

Well, well. Here we are. Mr. Lenny Dykstra, the man who famously claims to be undefeated or something in stock investing, has filed for bankruptcy (Darren Daulton saw this coming, as with all other things). Bankrupt, man. Just imagine if Dykstra’s stock picks had turned out poorly.

Lenny Dykstra and Jim Cramer
(Lookin’ good, gettin’ shoulder squeezes. What could go wrong?)

Yes, it’s more than a bit mean-spirited to delight in the complete financial failure of a stranger, even a famous one, so let’s point out that the world would be a better place if he and everybody else were in better financial shape. We can all agree on that, right? Okay, good. That said, Dykstra’s bankruptcy signals the end of one of the most noxiously overconfident reigns in the hypersensationalized world of early-decade financial management. Thank God.

At his career’s height , the former Phillie centerfielder wrote a column called “Nails On The Numbers” for the influential THESTREET.COM. He rubbed elbows with such television luminaries as Jim Cramer, seen above (and, um, here).Then people began to realize that Dykstra wasn’t exactly grounded in reality just because he knew a few familiar market terms and could speak in front of a television camera without turning into a blubbering mass of fail.

The bottom began to drop out. Mitch Williams called it first, saying Dykstra “wouldn’t have two nickels to rub together” in three years (that prediction, by the way? Almost seven months ago). Then GQ utterly eviscerated Dykstra and his claims of success, prompting a bland, blanket Pesci-style “everything that guy just said is bullsh*t” response from “Nails.”

Nowadays, Dykstra’s mansion is done for, his boat’s gone, his column’s off The Street, and… well, who the hell even knows what’s next? Maybe construction work. Construction’s gritty. And there’s lots of nails.