Lenny Dykstra Living In His Car? Yeah, Sure He Is

So before we get all misty and concerned over recent reports that Lenny Dykstra is destitute and sleeping in his car, let’s all take a breath and remember just who it is we’re dealing with here. Not only has the former Mets and Phillies star filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, but he’s in a pitched battle with the Fireman’s Fund Insurance Company involving coverage on two multi-million dollar homes that he owns. And, Our Hero is in the process of divorcing his wife.

Lenny Dykstra Phillies car

So sure, telling CNBC on Monday that he’s totally broke and unable to live in his own house because all the toilets are missing, well, it sounds rather like something someone in his position would say. Not buying it. Dykstra could probably afford a hotel room by simply selling one of his dress shirts every day. Hey, maybe he IS living in his car, but I’m not believing that until I see him in there wrapped in a sleeping bag, clutching a tire jack and listening to the OnStar lady sing him to sleep.

And why is it such a big deal anyway? Dykstra, after all, says that he only sleeps two days a week.

Dykstra warned his wife that he would play dirty after they separated, and what could be dirtier than a house with holes in the wall, and no toilets? Here’s what he had to say to CNBC’s Jane Wells, who just wanted to know how he was doing financially.

“I don’t mean to be crude,” he says, “but where do they expect me to (go to the bathroom)?”

He claims he has been “living in his car,” though last night he says he stayed in the lobby of a Westwood hotel. Fireman’s Fund says it’s already providing a temporary residence for the Dykstras, and Mrs. Dykstra is living there. Lenny Dykstra wants his own place, but since they have a joint account, they’re only being provided with a joint temporary residence.

Dykstra appears before a bankruptcy judge next week, which could determine whether his bankruptcy stays in Chapter 11, or moves to Chapter 7 liquidation. The judge ruled earlier that both of his homes must be put up for sale, and also that he provide proof of insurance on each. But both are a mess — with holes in the wall and the aforementioned missing toilets — and Fireman’s Fund canceled the insurance when it expired over the summer. Dykstra says they did that illegally.

All quite a turn of events for a man whom just a short while ago started a business advising former athletes how to pick stocks and manage their money. He somehow blew $58 million in assets in less than a year … or did he? Much of that has to be squirreled away. But I could be wrong.