Dwyane Wade Will Not Be Teaching Your Children

Miami Heat superstar Dwyane Wade has spent quite a bit of time in the headlines recently, but unfortunately for D-Wade, only lately have those headlines been about him being a possible MVP candidate in the NBA. That tends to happen when you make crazy one-handed running threes at the buzzer to rip out my heart and beat the Bulls in overtime. The MVP headlines also help push the ones about giving your ex-wife an STD or having wild sex parties to the back burner, which is a good thing in the image conscious NBA.

Unfortunately, not everybody forgets these possible transgressions. Wade was supposed to be an endorser for a new series of schools in the Miami area designed specifically for high school dropouts, and even had his name on the buildings of the D. Wade’s Schools. Now Mavericks in Education, who are running the schools, say that Wade hasn’t lived up to his end of the bargain and they’re dropping him from the project.


Wade, 27, didn’t fulfill his obligations to the D. Wade’s Schools, said Mavericks in Education CEO Mark Thimmig. Those included appearances in TV commercials.

“We need to move on; the dropout rate is at epidemic levels,” Thimmig said. “This contract made Dwyane Wade the biggest celebrity committed to turning around the national dropout crisis.

“He was supposed to participate in marketing campaigns and public appearances, but he has not been engaged.”

Thimmig also took a dig at Wade by saying that Mavericks needs a pitchman with “strong family values.” Neither Wade or his lawyer had any comment on the story, though it’s entirely possible that they just didn’t hear the phone ringing with that wild sex party going on.