Dude, Where’s My Cart? Trump P.O.’d Over Theft

Only four hours into the first day of the Trump National Golf Club-Bedminster junior tournament, the unthinkable happened. Someone boosted The Donald’s precious No. 13 golf cart. Gone in 60 seconds. But who was the thief? (My money’s on Herschel Walker).

Donald Trump

(”OK, I’ll just hop in my golf cart and be right th … hey!”)

OK, rest easy, America; Trump’s golf cart has been returned. And aside from three missing rims and the words “honky lips” scrawled on the side, it’s in pretty fine shape. But the same cannot be said for its owner, sadly. Trump is steaming mad over this bald effrontery. Be assured, heads will roll.

I wasn’t there, but I imagine that he assembled the entire Trump National Golf Club staff and had them line up to be interrogated. And Clarence Beeks took over from there.

Monday morning, the first day of competition at Trump National Golf for the U.S. Junior Amateur and U.S. Girls’ Junior, The Donald was cruising around his club catching the action. He was seen scooting around the grounds in the early morning catching some of the top players and parked his lucky No. 13 cart down by the garage to watch some action.

When he came back, it wasn’t there — and worse, his cell phone was in the cart.

“Mr. Trump was not happy,” said one volunteer.

Fortunately, Mr. Trump’s hair travels in a separate cart and was not affected.

All in all, this could have turned out much, much worse.

What did Donald Trump say when he discovered his golf cart was stolen?

View Results