ROGER GOODELL SENDS PATS & BELICHICK BIG VIDEO BILL: The numbers have been tallied for Bill Belichick’s sneaky sideline spying:

THE CANADIAN PRESS cashes in with news that the Patriots coach was fined $500,000, while the team was slapped with another $250,000 fee. In addition, the Pats will lose a pick in next year’s draft […]

TWINS GM SAYS “PUCKETT”, WILL RESIGN AFTER 13 YEARS: Terry Ryan is no longer running the show in the Metrodome:

The MINNEAPOLIS STAR-TRIBUNE reports the Twins GM is hanging up the cleats after 13 years of managerial service to the Minnesota ball club. Assistant GM Bill Smith will be taking over his duties, effective at […]

CARR GOES ROCKNE, TELLS KID EVERYTHING WILL BE OK: Michigan coach Lloyd Carr may be on the 1000-degree hot seat, but if he goes, he’s going out in style:

BARKING CARNIVAL has the highlights of Carr’s post-game press conference after the Oregon Ducks flew all over his Wolverines. As the coach went through the motions, […]

VA TECH BAND STUCK, TOLD NOT TO ‘STICK IT IN’ ANYMORE: The Virginia Tech band will no longer be allowed to urge the Hokies to “Stick It In“:

The HAMPTON ROADS VIRGINIAN-PILOT reports that the song is now off the playlist for the school’s Marching Virginians. “Stick It In” has been performed when the football squad […]

• YOU BEEN BLINDED always learns a valuable lesson from “Shaq and the Super Lakers“:

• THE BIG LEAD knows it’s always fun when sportscasters on ESPN use other four-letter words.
• 100% INJURY RATE looks for their pledge pin, as boxer Roy Jones Jr. joins a fraternity.
• DEUCE OF DAVENPORT learns that of all the […]

MEN CAUGHT SPYING ON DANISH WOMEN’S SOCCER TEAM: While the NFL is trying to make inroads into China, Bill Belichick’s influence has already made it over, as two men were caught spying on the Denmark women’s soccer team:

AGENCE FRANCE-PRESSE reports that the Danes were holding a pre-match meeting in a hotel conference room in Wuhan. […]

OREGON’S TRAIL OF TEARS OVER OUT-FOR-SEASON ODEN:

We’re at the airport about to fly out to Nebraska, but in case you haven’t heard, Greg Oden is out for the season.

HEAVEN HELP US - FAKE PRIEST SNEAKS INTO IRISH GAME: A prankster posing as a priest was able to sneak into Notre Dame Stadium just before a game:

SPORTS ILLUSTRATED also learns that the domer daredevil posted his heretical hijinks on YouTube - only to have the video-sharing site take it down.
The clip showed the dishonest […]

BRADY KNOWS HOW TO PLAY THE GAME (AND FOOTBALL): BOSTONIST uncovers this comment from Tom Brady to Rick Reilly of SPORTS ILLUSTRATED about his dating life: “You can’t let them know you’re that interested. I try to get this across to my best friend. He’s really into this girl, but I keep telling him she’s […]

SHOCK! ANDERSON PAID OFF $250K POKER DEBT WITH SEX: Norm Clarke of the LAS VEGAS REVIEW JOURNAL reports that Pam Anderson said this week that she has a unique way of paying off poker debts: “I paid off a poker debt with sexual favors, and I fell in love.”

Norm: “During an appearance Wednesday on ‘The […]