DEMPSTER TRAINS AS NINJA, HARRY CARAY IMPERSONATOR: The ARIZONA DAILY STAR breaks the news that Cubs closer “Ryan Dempster says he is training to be a ninja“.

Dempster “trained with a sensei in Vancouver” during the offseason and said, “You have to (learn) how to throw a throwing star and nunchucks and all those kinds of things.”

And in case you think he’s not serious, he added “Obviously you’ve got to do martial arts and learn how to be really quiet, which is a tough task for me because I talk a lot.”

Yeah, he does indeed, considering his stand-up comedy career, and his Haray Caray impersonation.

More Dempster shaken, not stirred: “It’s pretty cool. I wear the outfit around the house and try to sneak up on people. I always liked the ninja movies when I was growing up.”

I wish I could report this story as breaking news, but it’s obvious that baseball has been on a ninja kick for some time now.