Cubs’ Gatorade Machine To Be Placed On Waivers

Proving once again that FOX’s Ken Rosenthal gets to the heart of the biggest stories in MLB, he reported yesterday during the Cubs-Dodgers telecast that the Cubs are going to be getting rid of the Gatorade dispenser in their dugout after Ryan Dempster and Carlos Zambrano beat the living crap out of it in separate incidents earlier this week.

Cubs gatorade machine

In the good old days, players just laid the wood to a garden-variety barrel that was easily replaced by a new one. But the dispenser (pictured above) is like the self-serve soda machine at your local fast-food joint — an actual mechanism that requires a service call to fix if it’s blasted with 35 ounces of maple. And, “in this economy,” the Cubs decided they didn’t want to have to keep calling the repairman to come put the thing back together.

Dempster, in a somewhat hilarious interview (video after the jump), says the dispenser will be missed but has to share in some of the blame.

The CHICAGO TRIBUNE says that the man who does the repairs was watching when Big Z went off on it the other night:

While the technician said he missed the Dempster incident, he watched the Zambrano destruction on TV on Wednesday and immediately said: “I guess I know where I’ll be tomorrow.”

The technician couldn’t find a large 1-foot-by-2-foot piece of plastic from the dispenser that Zambrano knocked out, so he placed a bottle-holder over the side to cover it up.

Meanwhile, MOUTHPIECE SPORTS did a video piece on the well-being of the machine, including an interview with Dempster that was played amusingly straight. The aforementioned technician makes an appearance as well:

Ultimately, it seems that the placement of the dispenser is what did it in. Right next to the stairwell to the clubhouse is probably the last place a delicate piece of machinery should be located. Especially when people like Zambrano, Lou Piniella, and Milton Bradley are hanging around.