Cricket Star Gets Women Commandos for Safety

An Indian cricket star, Mahendra Singh Dhoni, has been so overwhelmed by young women and girls charging at him (including bolting onto the field during a match for hugs) that local authorities in India have been forced to step up their protection of the beleaguered batsman with women commandos surrounding his home while he tries to rest between tests.

Women commandos

The authorities feel the women commandos will be able to handle the throngs of admirers better “as they can do the job with ease”. We assume this means they can manhandle (womanhandle?) women better. We also don’t know how Russ Meyer never made a Bollywood film, now that we think about it.

The commandos aren’t exactly immune to his charms, weapons training or no.

“”I watched him play on television and never thought I would see him from such close quarters,” she giggles.

“It is good to be deployed for his security,” says another.”

Science needs to capture his pheromones so we can spend immense amounts of cash for a synthetic version.