We’ve mentioned it plenty of times already here, but one of the crucial aspects of life for a pro athlete these days is the fact that they’re young and have unholy amounts of money. There’s probably no primer a target than they.
So it’s pretty understandable that someone like Nets guard Chris Douglas-Roberts - he of the bengal kitten fame - would have some, ahem, devoted female fans. Fortunately, he’s got a Twitter feed, and as CDR explained a few days ago, he’s “approachable” on there. He’s even got stories, including one opus of 20+ tweets about a stalker he had last year. Was she crazy? Holy smokes yes, and CDR’s got details. Lots of details.
From “Fresh”’s Twitter feed, an abridged copy of his story. We’ve left all spelling and colloquialisms intact, and the only editing is for brevity’s sake and to get everything into a more traditional paragraph format. Enjoy.
Here’s a good one that happened my rookie year(las year) in the league. I had a Myspace fan page that my dogs ran & looked after. I didn’t even have the password. So I got alll kinds of crazy messages from people but one girl was sending scary messages. So my dog called me & was kind of shook. He basically told me I NEED to look @ those messages from this girl so I checked them out.
She prolly sent a total of 80 messages in like 2 weeks. They started off as regular fan messages. Then they turned into obsessive messages. Like “please respond to me, I love you. We’re meant to be together. You love me too. I know it!”
So @ first I’m laughing it off. Then the messages turned into “if you don’t give me a chance, I’m going to RUIN YOUR LIFE.”I was still laughing like “this ••••• crazy, w/e”…
Then my dog called me AGAIN on some 4am type shii & said,”Doug, you MUST read these other messages.!” Fa 1, im mad b/c it’s 4am, Fa 2, im like ignore her. So he just came out & told me this girl put my Myspace link on Craigslist in the (PAUSE) section! Makin me look like I DID IT!! So now all the “pause’s” are sendin ME messages! Then it wasn’t funny anymore.
So I told them to cancel the page thinkin that’ll be it. Wrong..
1 day we had a road game in OK City. My HOTEL ROOM PHONE rang & it’s the girl! I answered & she said “I’m tired of followin u, I always get what I want. Love me like I love you.” I hung up. Paranoid as hell b/c I stay under an ALIAS in every city we go to. I immediately called our Team Security & told him what was going on.
Meanwhile my Fan page WASN’T deleted b/c my slow ass friend didn’t hit the confirmation email. Now her messages are sayin “I’ve been following you.. @ all your games.. I’ll kill any girl you’re with.. been hittin up your fam on Myspace… My cuz @twentyboy is my witness. The girl was stealing fine chicks pics, ACTING like it’s her, ACTING as if she was interested just to TRY to get info on me. Of course my cuz didn’t turn down the fine chick (hahaha not mad @ you cuz) so she was all in now…
She said she was goin on those groupie blog sites sayin she was my girl & all type of other vicious lies. I’m like damn, this my FIRST YEAR!
Now every city, my room phone was ringin off the hook. @ all hours of the night. Swear To GOD I had to unplug erry phone in the room. I was so damn worried I didn’t know what to do due to the threats. I changed my alias 5 times. It got so crazy we had to go to the FBI. This girl had developed an illusion that I actually LOVED her. That I was CHEATING on her.
But the FBI took care of it & it pretty much died down. But they couldn’t arrest her b/c it wasn’t enough. However, I STILL don’t know the girl or why she was so obsessed! I know I’m attractive but damn! Hahaha. THEEEEE ENDDDDD!!!
Well, we all owe Mr. Douglas-Roberts a nice round of applause for his storytime, don’t we, class?
A couple other quick observations:
- CDR knows this all means there was a rat in his posse, right? There’s no other way for her to consistently get information that ought to be “confidential.” Yes, he mentioned that she tricked his dude into accepting friend requests, but his hotel room alias had to have been a little more important than that - especially by the third time around.
- The addition of Courtney Lee to the Nets’ roster must suck for Dougey, because the sheer relief from eliminating a source of stress like a stalker must make playing the game about twice as easy. That 4.9 ppg average from last year was looking to go up a lot more this season had the Nets not opted to bolster the 2-spot with another young player.
- The fact that he’s only got about 6,300 followers is clearly a travesty, because dude brings it better on Twitter than most of the athletes who have little more to contribute than “headed to the gym” or “hard work today!!” Follow this man, Twitter people. Just… for his sake, please don’t be creeps about it.