China Protects The World From Ugly Little Girl

At the rate things are going, after Michael Phelps breaks Mark Spitz’s record of seven gold medals, he might want to make sure that the gold used in his medals is real. While the Beijing games have been spectacular so far, we keep finding out that more and more of what we’re seeing from China isn’t real. First we found out that during the Opening Ceremonies they went all Hollywood and used CGI to show us fireworks going off. The reasoning behind this was that without the enhanced computer graphics, the fireworks wouldn’t have shown up on television.

Opening ceremonies

So they just didn’t want us to miss anything, which is awfully sweet of them. Of course, missing fireworks isn’t the only thing China is concerned about. They also wanted to make sure we didn’t hurt our eyes during the ceremonies, which is why they wouldn’t let one girl sing during them. The reason for this? Well, she was just too ugly.

From the AFP:

The little girl who starred at the Olympic opening ceremony was miming and only put on stage because the real singer was not considered attractive enough, the show’s musical director has revealed.

Pigtailed Lin Miaoke was selected to appear because of her cute appearance and did not sing a note, Chen Qigang, the general music designer of the ceremony, said in an interview with a state broadcaster aired Tuesday.

Lin Miaoke fake Olympic opening ceremony singer

Yep, the little girl in the red dress who sang during the ceremonies that you thought was so cute was faking it. She was lip-synching the entire thing. So why was the ugly girl such a threat?

“The reason why little Yang was not chosen to appear was because we wanted to project the right image, we were thinking about what was best for the nation,” Chen said in an interview that appeared briefly on the news website Sina.com before it was apparently wiped from the Internet in China.

Lin was seen to perform the patriotic song “Ode to the Motherland” as China’s national flag was carried into the stadium, a key moment in the three hour ceremony.

“The reason was for the national interest. The child on camera should be flawless in image, internal feelings, and expression,” said Chen, a renowned contemporary composer and French citizen.

No Fat Chicks

In other words, China has a very strict “No Fat Chicks” policy. Get on their case about it if you want, but to be honest I see this as a sign the country is progressing. I mean, at least they let the ugly girls live these days.