Chad Johnson Is Dead - Long Live Ocho Cinco!

Just when you thought Chad Johnson couldn’t get any stupider, he goes and does something exactly that. Apparently end zone celebrations and trade demands just aren’t enough for Chad to get all the attention he so desperately craves, as it looks like he’s followed up on his promise.

Chad Ocho Cinco

Yep, that’s right, Chad Johnson is no longer Chad Johnson. According to Miami radio station 790 The Ticket, Chad has legally changed his name to Chad Ocho Cinco.


According to Miami radio station 790 The Ticket, which is in Johnson’s hometown, the receiver has legally changed his last name to “Ocho Cinco.” Johnson’s — sorry — Ocho Cinco’s reported name change has been rumored in NFL circles for weeks, and according to the station today, it’s official.

“A lot of people look at Chad Johnson and say he’s crazy and he does a lot of stuff, but I don’t think people really understand how smart I really am,” Johnson said. “So come Sept. 7, I believe when we play the Baltimore Ravens, I think that’s the game, there’s a surprise for everybody — for everybody. When I say something, it is what it is, just enjoy it. Because it’s going to last 16 weeks, plus some more.”

Oh, Chad, don’t be silly. I don’t think you’re crazy, I just think you’re incredibly stupid. I also think that your mother must not have paid any attention to you as a child, because everything you do is done solely for someone to say “Hey, look at that moron!”

Don’t get me wrong, Chad. I think you’re a very talented football player, but you’re not as good as you think you are. In fact, if you spent half as much time trying to make yourself a better football player as you do thinking up end zone celebrations and idiotic publicity stunts, you could be great.

Unfortunately I think we both know that will never happen. But hey, at least you’ll finally be able to have Ocho Cinco on the back of your jersey. That should be really cool for, oh, about 10 seconds.

I’m not trying to be some crusty old curmudgeon here or anything. I have no problem with players in the NFL having fun and showing some personality. In fact, I think the league could use more of it, it’s just I think there’s a difference between personality and idiocy. Apparently you don’t.