Caps Goalie Thinks American Women Are Too Fat

Recall that a couple days ago, we brought you the story of Alex Ovechkin and his voracious sexual desires. Ovechkin, a Russian, voiced his preference for women from his home country thusly: “There are pretty girls there (in the U.S.) … but Russians are Russians.” Political, yes, but cryptic.

Semyon Varlamov and Dasha
(Oh, she’ll do. We guess.)

Fortunately, fellow Capital Semyon Varlamov shares Ovechkin’s tastes - and without the predilection toward being polite about his home fans. Russian women are pretty, but these Americans, maybe they’d be pretty if they weren’t such fat-sucking slob-ass pigs!

Per JAPER’S RINK, Varlamov is just happy with his Russian girlfriend:

You know, I’m extremely fortunate that I met a Russian girl in America. It’s difficult to look at a lot of the local women. You get the feeling that just don’t take care of themselves! There are an awful lot of heavyset ones. But Russian girls have nice trim figures. I couldn’t imagine myself being with an American girl.

Sir, you are a Washington Capital! Must we remind you about the lovely ladies of Club Scarlet, the all-female Capitals fan club? Yes, their slogan of “Rock The Red” is sensationally unfortunate, and yes, odds do dictate that at least some of them are Lane Bryant shoppers. But you can’t just dump on your home audience like that!

And besides, this Russian girl can’t be that much better than our ladies, can she? What’s that, you say? There’s video? Oh, do go on:

Oh. Okay. Yes, we agree with everything Varlamov says. Compared to her, most American women look like contestants on that one “Fatchelor” show.

How does Dasha look compared to American women?

View Results