Over the last few years, Chicago Bears fans have found out quite a bit about the personal life of their favorite middle linebacker, Brian Urlacher. Thanks to a very public custody battle — at the time, the CHICAGO SUN-TIMES actually considered it front page news — we found out that he spent some of his free time knocking up. Why he would want to sleep with a woman who had already been in the news for falsely accusing the Lord of the Dance, Michael Flatley, of sexual assault (everybody knows the only sexual assault Flatley has ever committed has been on our eyes), and a doctor from suburban Chicago of the same thing, only Brian knows.

In the end, Brian was able to prove Tyna Robertson’s son, Kennedy, was his and won visitation rights with the child. Well, those visits are apparently getting a little weird. Maybe Brian is just trying to placate Tyna’s love for Michael Flatley, or maybe he’s just running some kind of odd social experiment, but according to the kid’s mom, Brian’s been dressing him in pink diapers and painting his nails blue.

From the CHICAGO SUN-TIMES:

“He pulls down his pants and says, ‘Mommy, look how pretty they are,’ ” she said.

Robertson also said Kennedy told her, “Big boys paint their nails,” and said he refused to take a bath for two days to keep the blue polish on his nails from washing off.

“He’d say, ‘Mommy, I don’t want to get my nails wet. I don’t want to mess them up,’” she said. “It took two hours to get him in the bath.”

Robertson said her pleas to Urlacher to get him to cease the toenail painting and Cinderella diapering went unheeded.

“He says he can do whatever he wants,” Robertson said. “[Urlacher said], ‘It doesn’t make him feminine. It doesn’t make him gay.’

Now whether or not any of this is true, I have no idea, but it sure is pretty interesting to read isn’t it? Personally, I’m more inclined to think it’s all a bunch of bull given Robertson’s history, but who knows? It’s been pretty obvious over the last few years that Urlacher isn’t a very big fan of Tyna, and it is possible he’s doing all of this just to mess with her.

Whatever the case is, I’m just happy to see a small child being used as a pawn in a game of idiocy between two adults. Given the way his parents behave, I think pink diapers and blue nail polish will be the least of this kid’s worries growing up.