Brad Pitt as Billy Beane on Big Screen? Please, NO

VARIETY and FIRST SHOWING both report this week that Brad Pitt is set to star as A’s GM Billy Beane in a big screen adaptation of the book “Moneyball.”

Moneyball is a project setup at Sony that we first mentioned way back in March. Oscar winning screenwriter Steve Zaillian (Schindler’s List, Mission: Impossible, American Gangster) has signed on to adapt the screenplay for David Frankel (The Devil Wears Prada, Marley & Me) to direct.

Brad Pitt Kevin Spacey Billy Beane Moneyball The Movie

(OBVIOUS: Spacey a better fit than Pitt as Beane)

STRIKE ONE: OK, so the same guy who wrote the screenplay for Schindler’s List is going to do the same for a book about the Oakland A’s?

I think he might be a little better suited to an interpretation of the Royals’ last 15 seasons.

More from First Showing:

Producer Michael De Luca previously explained what their take is: a “dramatic depiction of that 2002 season” that is “condensed to really the beginning and end of that season that contained the 22 game winning streak.” De Luca adds: “I think there should be a mix of a sports movie but also an anti-establishment triumph of the individual in terms of the way Billy Beane went up against conventional wisdom and the bureaucracy.”

STRIKE TWO: The film does sound intriguing - but Pitt as the lead? Does this mean we can expect to see Billy Beane’s six-pack abs? Oh, I forgot, the book is set right in the heart of baseball’s steroid era, so perhaps that is a possibility.

I was thinking more along the lines of Kevin Spacey (Olmedo Sáenz’ dome in rolling around the batter’s box as a plot twist?)

Charlie O. The Mule

STRIKE THREE: There’s somehow no mention of Charlie O. The Mule making a cameo.