Belichick Discovers Bizarre Salty Eye Discharge

Bill Belichick

Here is head coach Bill Belichick at today’s Patriots press conference, discussing … wait, is that, emotion? Let’s listen in: “I love Brian Piccolo …”

Actually, Belichick was discussing Tedy Bruschi’s retirement, and considering the subject, a bit of emotion is probably warranted. But I’ve always thought of Belichick as the science officer in the film “Alien.” I would not be one bit surprised if he turned out to be a cyborg.

I’m sorry, Belichick cannot continue. Completing remarks at the Patriots press conference will be coach Spock.