Barkley’s DUI: ‘Blowjobs’, Wine Coolers, TV’s Urkel

The SMOKING GUN scares up the police report from Charles Barkley’s already widely-reported DUI arrest last night in Phoenix.

Charles Barkley Blowjob

Following his arrest earlier today for drunk driving, Charles Barkley told Arizona cops that he ran a stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up a girl who had “given him a ‘blow job’ one week earlier,” which the former NBA star described as “the best one he had ever had in his life.”

Barkley also told a law enforcement official that he’d “tattoo your name on my ass” if the person could help him get the DUI charge dropped.

The NEW YORK DAILY NEWS has even more hilariously embarrassing details from Barkley’s evening - before he was popped at the Maricopa County checkpoint.

Barkley racked up a $1,800 bar tab before his arrest while partying with Jaleel White (nee Steve Urkel from “Family Matters”), according to TheDirty.com. He was also videotaped chugging a bottle of Patron.

And TMZ adds:

Sources close to the situation also tell TMZ Barkley had some interesting accessories in his car when he was popped at the DUI checkpoint — wine coolers and bear claw donuts. Seriously.

This is the same Barkley who says he wants to run for governor of Alabama in 2014, so I’m glad he’s getting a chance to get all this stuff out of his system. Only five more years to go! Safe to say this DUI charge will have zero impact on Barkley’s political aspirations.

I’ve also got good money down that Barkley’s current employer, TNT, will do little-to-nothing to discipline Barkley. Maybe a week or two suspension and then all will be forgiven. *Chuck high-five’s Ernie over blowjob mention in police report*

The rest of the media will forget about all this in about nine months. If not sooner.

BUT, if all else does actually fail, Barkley’s always got Dick Ebersol.

Right, Marv?