Alyssa Milano Dishes On Bad Sex With Pitchers

Well, now Giants fans know who to blame for Barry Zito’s career implosion. According to THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER, Alyssa Milano’s new tell all, “Safe-at-Home”, drops all the details from her past flings with star pitchers Carl Pavano, Zito and Brad Penny, even dropping the fact that Penny made her wear his jersey to bed.

alyssa milano

(Two thirds of the Milano bad luck club, as compiled by SI.com)

It’s the latest step in a trave-sham-ockery of a career for Milano, who’s gone from classic crap TV (Who’s the Boss?) to modern crap TV (Charmed) to baseball clothing. It’s only too appropriate that the outlet to break the story has such high standards of integrity that it thinks Barry Zito’s first name is Brad. At each step of the way, she’s gone to lengths to have very public relationships with high profile pitchers, each of which has immediately gone into the tank after they broke up with Milano.

So who’s up next for Milano? No pitchers, according to the actress. She claims to have sworn off baseball players forever, which will probably last about as long as she stays away from a FOX or ESPN camera at a game this year. So, count on a new Milano relationship with an up and coming pitcher — Cliff Lee maybe? — before May.